I've found a friend who died for me

Valleys Are Inevitable

Dear Jesus,
Been ages since I last blogges to you. I seriously hate studying, O' Levels are merely 45 days away and my prelims aren't over yet.. ._. I know that I can't give up though...
Hebrews 12:3-4

³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.⁴In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

You gave up so much for me, how can I just let it all go ? Not just studies that are currently bringing me down, but everything I do never seem to be enough . One sheep isn't stable no matter how much I try and the other doesn't even share her feelings and troubles with me ? However, I know I'm not God, I'm not the one who changes their heart .
1 Corinthians 3:6
⁶I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.
Who am I thought to say that they're imperfect ? I have yet to be able to fully love you with my all.. Everytime during worship I can't even fully fix my eyes on you, I always get so distracted . Most of the time I also don't directly recieve a word from . Faith isn't just a feeling, I know that but sometimes Lord, I just need more of you and I feel like that isn't happening... I really need more of your love, presence and joy in my life. I feel like I'm always an empty vessel and I can't rely on my human strength but I need more of yours . It's more comfortable to just be around all my brothers and sisters but I know, that's not the reason why I'm here . The reason why the church exist . We don't exist for ourselves but we're here to be your hands and feet and to meet the unmet need . I know one thing Lord, I still can give you praise because you never change, you're still faithful and you still love me ! Thank You Lord ! :') Though, I walk through valleys, I know that you're walking beside me and that there's nothing to fear !

Dear Jesus,
There are countless of things happening and I sometimes feel lost and I kind of forget what and why I'm doing what I'm doing . 93 days to Os and I'm still so unprepared. My classmate having CCA farewell on ESS and rejected me for MLG. My junior didn't want to eat with me just because she wasn't going to stay back ? Nothing seem to be going right but one thing didn't change, which is you Lord. Even though I feel like giving up, your faithfulness and grace never left my side. How can I let you down when you didn't? Sometimes, Lord nothing will go right and I may not know the reason but soon it will be revealed. I really want to rely on you. In everything that I do, I want to do it with you and for you. When I lose sight of everything else, I never want to lose sight of you. Lord, help me to fix my eyes on you.

Dear Jesus,
Today, we had another Adam Khoo booster session, it was more helpful than I had expected. The trainer told us to make a 14 day contract with a close friend that ensures that we would commit to "studying for an hour a day" or "don't watch television". That is why I have chosen you to be my witness. In these 14 days from tomorrow onwards, I will not forsake you for my studies, I will study for at least a half hour(includes homework) and I will study for every test and mock exam. If I were to break any one of these you can delt with me as you see fit. I still don't know where do you want me to go but I want to do my best so that wherever you want me to go I will be able to go any school. However, I cannot do this without you, Lord I really need you to help me grow in my discipline and concentration level. Lord, strengthen me as well and bless me with more wisdom academically. Thank you Lord for another blessed day!

Dear Jesus,
I don't want to make a decision based on my own thinking, my own abition but Lord, I want to make a decision that leads me to your path. I want to obey you but right now, I don't even know what you want me to do. Can you please make it obvious? This life you have given me and I really want to live it according to your ways, according to your word and according to your truth. I know that you always want what is best for me and that your ways are greater and better than mine. I'm merely human but you are the son of God. Who am I that I'm right? Everything you've given me in this life belongs to you and I want to make sure I'm a good steward. I want to maximise my time and potential, so that I can be a salt and light at home and in school. I know that whatever way you want me to go is not going to be easy but I promise you that when you call I will answer and I will give my best in that choice. However, I can't do that without even knowing what you want me to do. Weird isn't it? Before this I was so determined I wanted to go NP and study psychology but now...? I want to depend on you God. Please give me Samuel's ears.

Verse of the day:

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Dear Jesus,
Feelings come and go but I know you are forever the same. I should not have let my emotions get the better of me. I really want to change and I really want to live life with you and for you not just because it's the normal thing to do but it's my heart's cry. I will never grow tired of seeking you, praying and dwelling in your presence. I want you to be the centre of my life. Each and everyday I want to get to know you more and more. When I read your words, I want my eyes to sparkle. Let me Lord, be spirit led, to not rely on my own human strength but on your supernatural powers. Help me Lord, soften my heart and open my eyes to see that you're always by my side. I want to obey you in every circumstances. Lord, I promise to never stop striving for you, I promise to never stop running this race. Fill my heart with your more of your love. I don't ever want to walk away from you.